My (because I know you all care) Thoughts on Superman

I realize this seems to have appeared pretty much out of nowhere, but honestly, I think about it all the time. Call it what you will.

In the recent past, I found myself watching the original Superman TV series with my father. It got me wondering: why does Superman, rather than the usually allotted two-or-three-or-four superpowers, have like a billion? Seriously. There's invulnerability to guns/other attacks, flight, super-speed, super-strength, super-hearing, super-ability-to-remove-glasses-and-look-totally-different-to-everyone, and even X-ray vision (which I will discuss in detail soon). Didn't whatever nerds who created him think, "Hm. Maybe this guy is a little overdone??"

I think so.

Let's take Spiderman, for example. He's spidery. He can climb stuff and shoot webby crap. He has higher senses. See? That's four things. Acceptable. Batman? Well, according to the newest movies, his power is being mega-rich and able to afford whatever the hell he wants, along with fighting skills he acquired via weird Tibetan monastery cult. Iron Man is the same way, but without the fighting skills acquired via blah blah blah.

See? These guys actually had to do something to be superheroes. They had to be scrappy.

Not the case with Superman. And here's my little part about x-ray vision:

Ok, so if it's "x-ray" vision, why can he see entirely through things? Wouldn't bones and organs still be visible in a person? I've gotten the whole "It's not real x-rays, it's just a power," but he can't see through lead so it's supposed to be real x-rays. Wouldn't everyone he looked through end up irradiated and sterile? Isn't that why they cover you with the big lead-filled apron when you go in to get an x-ray? Ok, I'm done.

To continue... So I was watching the original TV series. Clark Kent (who is so totally not Superman with glasses and a tie...) has terrible sense as to how to disguise himself. He looks exactly the same as Superman but with glasses. That's it. And in every episode, Lois Lane was all, "Clark! There you are! Where were you? You missed Superman! He saved us from [insert cliche]! You always wander off whenever he shows up. Where did you go?"
And Kent replies, "Oh, I was around!" and then winks egregiously at the damn camera!

So yeah. Superman is by far, the lamest superhero when it comes to actual back-story.

I don't care that he's an alien from Krypton, Ron.

As I Sit in the Highschool Computer Lab...

So, Ron, my friend sitting next to me in the computer lab just let me know that "high school" is two words. I don't like it as two words. It's lame that way. Am I going to conform to normal standards of the spellings of established learning facilities? No. No I will not.

Gray -> Grey
Favorite -> Favourite
Mop -> Mahp
(note: if you write out mop like, "moooooooooop," it looks like moop. So it's mahp and "maahhhhp.")

I can write "elem'entry" just like that, too. That's colloquial. Is that a problem with you, Ron?

I didn't think so.

You know why I didn't think so? You're my fake audience I made up. You're not real.

Anyway, spelling. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand it when someone spells something incorrectly. I only enjoy it when they do it purposefully for comedic and/or philosophical effect.

Can you tell that I'm really bored, Ron?

To Begin....

I suppose that it doesn't really matter what's posted on here, because I have some doubts as to who will actually read it. Whatever.

My current dilemma is what to actually publish onto this thing. I mean, should I be one of those rant-y people who write about what really, really pisses them off? Should I be some wannabe philosopher who gives spiritual commentary? How about someone with way too forceful of opinions that I think are universally right for everyone?

I think I'll just try to throw in a bit of everything, from folksy commentary on my terrible, terrible job (rant-y!), to something that should sound deep and meaningful (wannabe Kirkegaard), to uber-opinions (you all know someone like that!).

I think I shall give my fake audience a nickname... How about Ron? That's solid, right?

So anyway, Ron, I hope you keep coming to read what I jot down when I get bored. I know you will. I just made you up.